Had To Get Rid Of My Mother To Save My Marriage Today
My spouse and I are soul mates. We really loved each other from the minute we first met at a school dance. We both went home that night (little did we know) and told our parents that tonight we met the person we were going to marry. Directly after we got married, we moved together with my parents to look for work and start our new lives. It absolutely was exciting, but we didn't have a place of our own to live right away.
Now after the fact your spouse suddenly realized the harm that was done. While you did say yes initially you really did not give a firm confirmation. There are also some nagging issues which have to be answered
My father talked us into living with them for a while until we were financially sound enough to buy our own house. Little did we know, one month after moving into the new house with them, my father would leave my very own mother, leaving us to care for my legally blind mother and my younger brother. We took over for paying for the bills and keeping things going in the right direction, along with using my mother's disability checks.
Building trust in a relationship can be difficult if one or even both parties have trust difficulties from previous relationships. It is not impossible to do, but it will take significant effort and also time.
Technically, the house was still my mothers, mainly because it was in her name, and all of the possessions in it were hers except for what we actually had in our bedroom. We lived by her rules of the house still, just as I always did growing up as a kid. Call when you are on your way home, tell me your plans, when are you coming and going, reveal your financials..... Really still a child in a mother's house.
We paid off our share of the house payment, bills, food, etc and for a while it was working. We had our disagreements and such, however mainly everything went along smoothly. We were merely frustrated we still had all of our possessions in one bedroom, were still living by my mother's rules of the home, and still hadn't moved forward with a life of our own.
Every married couple has a time in their marriage where they feel that their marriage could be on the rocks. There may even be times that couples find it hard to solve existing issues simply because they are too preoccupied with emotional baggage.
At the ten year marker it became evident that we were slipping away from each other. My hubby and I were fighting more, which lead to more fighting with my very own mother, and frequently the question came up whether I loved him more than my family. During one particular argument, he told me that I would have to make a choice: my very own mother or him. Of course, later in conversation, my mother gave me exactly the same ultimatum.
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I searched my heart and did a save my marriage today review. Although I would always love my mother and always wanted to be close to her, it was becoming more and more apparent that we could not share a house living the way we did. I needed to tell her that we could not live together anymore to save my marriage. By this time, my parents had been dating again for quite some time and they had made a decision to get remarried, so it wasn't like she didn't have anywhere to go.
I just told her that my hubby is my future and the rest of my life. Although she will always be my mother and a part of my life, I wanted to move forward with my life with my husband by my side. To be able to do this, we needed our own space, build our own personal life, and get it done on our own.
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I still loved her and I didn't want to ruin our relationship by constantly fighting. Understanding this was the first step towards years of happiness and joy to come. We went our separate ways with our living arrangements, but we became much closer as a family since we were living separately. My husband and I became closer than ever and found our initial love growing with our new life together. At the end of the day, we had to get rid of my very own mom to save my marriage today.
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